Italian & Me

Ciao belli ;).

I really want to talk about Italian and me, but not in the context where I give recommendations or anything of the sort. I just actually want to talk about Italian and me. Have you seen The Prince & Me? Anyway, ...

Firstly, I love Italian and me. I really do. I love us. I was thinking about it the other day, today, and I could sooner imagine a life without English than a life without Italian. Don't know how that happened. And I've been thinking about starting a relationship with a new language, but when I try, all I'm thinking about is Italian. It's very strange. It's like the more I try, the more I think about Italian, even more than I would, ordinarily. Suddenly, more thoughts want to come forward in Italian. It's like the more I consider something else, the more my mind goes No, where are you going. This is home. I don't know how that happened, anyway.

I wanted to talk about Italian and me. What did I want to say? I think I wanted to say One | I'm really happy with where we've been, where we are, where we're going, Two | Can you imagine where we could've been? Considering how casual I am?, and Three | I'm ready for actual study. I've decided. I'm going to do it. I'm not sure I'm going to study a language, but I'm going to pick a few rules, and I'm going to sit down and I'm going to do it.

I imagine it's funny talking to me. Not funny as in humorous, but maybe funny as in strange. As in I could talk for a few minutes and you could think Ah, she's firmly rooted in the B2 level, but then I won't know how to say 'H' or 'XYZ'. I mean that literally. I won't know how to say the letters 'H' or 'XYZ'. I've got a lot of knowledge to fill in. This is what happens with learning naturally.

I've never needed to say 'H' or 'XYZ'. If I lived in Italy, surely I would've needed to say 'H' or 'XYZ'. I would've learned it by now. This is the sort of thing I mean going forward. I will have a day where I learn the alphabet and spell everything. It will be done. I will have more days where I drill il congiuntivo (I've been doing this already, I really enjoy it). It will be done. I will have a day where I learn all the items of clothing most people wear. It will be done. You get me? I'm going to have days. I'm really going to do it this time. I'm going to study. And it will be fun.

To be fair, I always like interactions with a language. Although I'm weird about studying a language, I love studying a language. I'm only weird about studying a language and learning a language because 100 people could say they're studying a language and none of them will mean the same thing. They could all have different results. They could all have the same results. They could all know how to speak, and none of them could be speaking. They could all study and never speak. So I don't know. I don't just want to acquire knowledge. I want to use it. Acquisition is not my objective. Communicating is. Naturally, knowledge is required for my objective, but how I move is changed by my objective. Perfectionism and shame are changed by my objective. Willingness to actually use the language is changed by my objective. So I do not learn a language. I communicate with it. I learn and I communicate. I learn, but more importantly, I communicate with it. That comes first.

Anyway, to be fair, I always like interactions with a language. I don't mind studying. I'm just usually more focused on communicating than studying. I learn what I need to learn by communicating and then struggling. So before I learn, I start communicating. I think I'm going to change a bit of that balance moving forward. There will be more learning along with communicating. Everything is learning. I've been using online chats to help me with what I'm learning. The primary use is to serve me endless questions. It's for drilling. I'm primarily using this to really learn what I'm learning. Then, I can go on, out in the world, communicating.

Anyway, general reflection: There's so much I'm "missing", so much I don't know, and I'm looking forward to learning. I think about a new language and all I really think about is what more Italian I could be learning. • I've been speaking so much more and I'm really loving it. My attachment to Italian is so strong and I really love it. It's a loving home. • I like giving recommendations, but then I think of all the caveats I could be making. It's the thought of the caveats I could be making that really seems to drain me. • Can you imagine how far I could've come had I not been learning so casually? I don't say this to say I've done anything wrong, I'm happy with what I've done, but can you imagine what this could mean for bilingual education? AP Spanish brings you, at most, to mid-level B2. That's 4 years of study, usually with minimal speaking, and at most, you won't even complete B2. you might not even be able to speak at B2. With 4 years of study. Keep in mind, my current weird half-B2 level after a year includes weeks of no "study", weeks of the only study being a 5-minute Busuu lesson and casual inner conversation, etc. Can you imagine what would happen if we changed a few things and then incorporated the structure and consistency of being in a school? Restructure a bit, and your classes could speaking at A2 by the end of the first month. They could near that AP level by the end of the first year. They could actually communicate.

Anyway, ...

Shall I learn Spanish?

23:53:44

Maybe in May.